Second Chance
by Love Lost Contest
Summary: After suddenly losing the love of her life, Bella struggles to find her way back to normality.  It took the love of another man to make her believe in second chances.  An entry for the Love Lost Contest.


**Title: Second Chance**

**Characters: Bella, Edward, Jacob**

**Rating: M for language **

**Word Count: 3271**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. No copyright infringement is intended**

**Summary: After suddenly losing the love of her life, Bella struggles to find her way back to normality. It took the love of another man to make her believe in second chances.**

**To see all entries in the "Love Lost" Contest, please visit the profile: .net/u/2458839/Love_Lost_Contest**

BPOV

My life was a simple one. I was a happy and content twenty-five-year-old woman. I was in love with the man of my dreams; we were both madly in love with each other.

Jacob Black was the best man I could ever imagine for my life. We were childhood friends largely because our fathers were friends. Once we grew up, we realized that we were meant to be. He made a modest living as a mechanic. He loved what he did, and he was very good at it. He had his own little shop out on the La Push reservation. He made just enough money to support his shop and pay for his living expenses. He adored what he did, so I was happy to support him in it.

I worked at a convenience store just outside the border of the reservation. It was a bit out of the way from Forks, but it paid the bills and put me closer to Jacob. I enjoyed being closer to him and didn't mind the drive from my house. It made things easy for the nights I spent at Jacob's.

We had talked about me moving in with him, since he inherited his father's house. Our living expenses would be almost nothing since there wasn't any rent and the mortgage was paid off upon his father's death. I had a couple months left on my lease, and I didn't plan on renewing it. I was going to tell Jacob this weekend; I know he will be very happy with my decision.

This weekend was also the beginning of the Clallam County Fair. It was always a big-to-do around here, since there really isn't much else to do in town. It was full of activities and things to see. The only other form of entertainment was First Beach on the reservation.

Besides the typical carnival rides, there were animals, art and craft exhibits, lot of yummy and unhealthy food, and of course, the rodeo. The rodeo was the most popular part of the fair. We had tickets for Friday night for the preliminary round. We were very excited to go.

Friday night came around, and I got stuck working. I tried to get out of it, but no one was willing to cover my shift. I called Jacob to let him know I couldn't go. He was more excited than I was about tonight, so he asked if he could take his best friend, Seth, with him. He said he would get us tickets for tomorrow night's second round. I told Jacob to have fun and that I loved him.

Throughout the evening I received several texts from Jacob, but I was too busy to answer any of them. I just hoped he was having fun. I missed being able to go, but I was more excited about just spending time with him; we had plenty of time for that after I got off of work. I still wanted to tell him about my decision to move in.

Around the time I was getting off work and business had slowed down, my cell rang. I knew it had to be Jacob so I didn't hesitate to answer it—not even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

The voice I heard was not Jacob's. I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my stomach. My heart raced but felt like it stopped all at the same time.

"Miss Swan?"

"Y…yes. That's me," I answered with a shaky voice. _This can't be good._

"My name is Officer Michael Newton from the Clallam County Sheriff's office. Do you have a moment, ma'am?"

"Uh, I guess. Let me lock up really quick." _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God_.

"Sure."

I ran around the counter and locked the doors to the store. Once I knew I was free, I sat down behind the counter.

"Sorry about that officer, what can I do for you?" _Please don't let me be what I think it is_.

"Ma'am, I believe you know Jacob Black."

"Yes, he's my boyfriend. But please, just call me Bella." I choked out my answer and avoided asking why. I held my breath as he started to speak again.

"Bella, let me get straight to the matter at hand. I have some bad news, but I would rather tell you in person. Can you tell me where you are at? Or I can meet you somewhere else if you'd like."

"No, it's fine. I'm at work. We're closed now so you can come here." I didn't want to wait until I got home to see what this is all about.

"OK, it's the little store out by the rez, correct?"

"Yeah, I'll be here. M…Mike?" I didn't want to ask this question, but it was eating me up inside.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Is…is Jacob okay?" _Please say it's okay_. Hopefully he just got arrested or something. He tends to get overly excited at those things.

"Can I wait and tell you when I get there? It will only be a few more minutes since I am already on my way."

"Alight, Mike. Thanks anyway, see you in a few." I hung up immediately and started expecting the worst.

A few minutes later, Mike was at the door. I jumped up, unlocked the door and let him in.

"Bella, nice to see you again, although I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Cut the small talk, Mike. Just tell me what happened with Jacob. Please." I added the please because I didn't want to seem ungrateful that he was going out of his way.

Mike went on to tell me what happened to Jacob while I patiently stood still, holding back my tears.

Jacob had been walking down the highway in the dark. His car had been abandoned half a mile back, and he was walking towards the store. It turns out that his car had run out of gas. _I told him to fix that damn gas gauge_. A drunk driver came down the road at high speed and plowed right into Jacob from behind.

What? How? Why? I couldn't believe it.

"W…Wh…What do you mean, Mike?" This had to be some kind of a joke. I knew Mike Newton; he was always a jokester in school.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you. I really wish I was making this up, but sadly I'm not. Jacob is dead. The ambulance took him to Forks Hospital, but the coroner pronounced him dead when he arrived on scene."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything but stare at Mike. Jacob was dead. He was gone. I should have been there with him; I should have fought harder to get off work. Better yet, I should have begged him not to go and wait for me tomorrow. This can't be true.

Mike didn't say anything else. He gave me a quick handshake and with sympathetic eyes, he turned around and left. I barely had the foresight to lock the door behind him.

I sat down at the counter, trying to come to terms with what I was told. After an hour or so of nothing, I headed home. I won't be going to Jacob's tonight, or any other night for that matter. My love, my Jacob, was gone forever.

Once I was home, I threw myself straight into bed and started crying. I cried and cried. I cried until my tears ran dry. I cried until I couldn't breathe anymore and was gasping for breath.

I was mad. No, I was angry—pissed. How could this happen? Why? It wasn't fair. Jacob was a good person. He was loved by many and reciprocated that love. He surrounded the people he cared for with faith and hope. Why couldn't this happen to someone more deserving? A drunk, a deadbeat, or a pedophile. Why did it have to happen to Jacob? Why did it have to happen to us?

My only solace was that it appeared that he was killed instantly, so he wouldn't have even felt it and certainly didn't see it coming. The asshole drunk driver didn't even have his lights on.

The driver, James Tucker, thankfully had the decency to stop. He was the one who reported the accident. Apologetic or not, I would never forgive that man. I'd make sure he went to jail for a long, long time.

I was lucky, Clallam County was small, and so the trial was held two weeks later. It was a quick, cut and dry case. He admitted to the officers on scene that he had been drinking. He admitted to seeing Jacob fly through the air after impact—He admitted to all of it. At least the slimeball didn't put us through a lengthy and painful trial. He was sent to prison for five years with a charge of vehicular manslaughter and would never be able to drive again—a lifetime suspension of his driver's license. His punishment was not nearly good enough, but I did all I could. I fought for Jacob with every ounce of energy I could muster.

All I could do was move on with my life.

It was an empty life. Being that Jacob had no other living relatives, his house was offered to me. I declined it and told the tribe's elders, who now had ownership of the house, that they should sell it and give the money to charity—preferably Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They reluctantly accepted my decision and sold Jacob's house. I just couldn't go back into that house; it had too many memories—I couldn't live with that pain every single day.

I was still adjusting to life without Jacob. I had to force myself everyday to breath, to get out of bed, to fight the sadness. I didn't know how I was going to be able to continue on living like this. I was a shell of the woman I once was. It felt like my youth disappeared along with Jacob.

I ended up moving out of my apartment when my lease expired and rented a different one on the opposite side of town. My old apartment had too many wonderful memories and I couldn't walk around it anymore without thinking about Jacob.

I kept my job, mostly because jobs were hard to come by in a small town. I volunteered to work nights, since it paid more per hour. I was awake all night and would barely sleep during the day. Working kept my mind somewhat occupied, and it didn't hurt as much. Inevitably, my shift would end and I barely made it home each day without crying. I spent most of my mornings after work crying myself to sleep. I ended up having to see a doctor, thanks to my father's prodding, to deal with my depression.

Dr. Cullen prescribed me an anti-depressant and sleeping pills, and he also suggested I see a therapist to help me deal with my grief. It was bad enough that I was barely functioning, using medicine to help me live each day, but now I needed to see shrink on top of that? I decided to do what the doctor and my father wanted and started seeing a therapist once a week.

The therapist was actually a very good thing for me, and he was really good at what he did. Jasper Hale had a way of reading my true feelings and didn't take any of my bullshit answers. He had me perform several role-playing scenarios. I hated them, but when I looked at myself from a different point of view, I was able to see more clearly. I was a mess—a complete wreck. I had to find a way to cope.

In one of our sessions, Jasper really laid into me. He was determined to get me through the final step of the grieving process—acceptance.

"Bella, you have been doing very well these last two or three months. You have gotten past the anger, regret and guilt for the most part, and you are much more emotionally stable. You're even able to sleep without the medication."

I nodded my head appreciatively, thinking he was going to tell me I could quit with the therapy. I was very wrong as Jasper continued.

"We need to get you through the entire healing process. I know you want off of the anti-depressants, but until I believe you are completely healed, I wouldn't feel comfortable telling Dr. Cullen that you could come off of them. You just need to accept that Jacob is gone and move on with your life."

He helped show me that a person's life is made up of many little lives. My life with Jacob was over, but I was still young and had lots of living to do. I just needed to decide if I was ready for that change.

I left that session with an entirely new outlook. As much as it hurt losing Jacob, I knew Jasper was right. I just had to keep living, and my memories of Jacob would forever keep him alive in my heart.

After a few more months, work had become my refuge. I picked up extra shifts whenever I could, and I also started volunteering at the hospital. I worked with kids who were stuck in the hospital for various reasons. There were kids with cancer, kids with injuries, and kids with illnesses. I basically did whatever they needed or wanted. I would play games with them, read to them, and sometimes just sit and talk with them. Everyone was a little different, and each one of them had a place in my heart.

I found this to be a great way in my healing process. Jasper had mentioned volunteering, and at first, I scoffed at the idea. Now that I had been doing it for a couple of months, my life was so much more fulfilled. I liked to think that Jacob was sitting there with me, helping those kids in his own loving way.

To make my healing process even more difficult and confusing, there was a man in the volunteer program that seemed to have taken a liking to me. The idea of ever being with another man was a bit daunting, but I knew I couldn't shut down any opportunity out of fear that Jacob would be upset with me.

Jasper and I had actually discussed this possibility in our sessions. He asked me that if the situation was reversed and Jacob lost me, would I want him to move on. My answer was quick—of course I would want him to move on. I contemplated this for a couple weeks after that conversation. I had decided that if the right person came along, I wouldn't just shoot the idea down, that I would at least give it a chance. The same chance I gave Jacob when we were teenagers.

This guy however, was a completely different story. I actually knew him; I went to school with him. Edward Cullen was way out of my league then, and he was even more so now. There was no way; I had to be seeing this wrong. Edward was just being nice.

Edward had always been gorgeous. But why would he be interested in me? I was a ruined woman who had nothing to show for myself in life, and he was a successful man who came from a wealthy family—his father was even a doctor here.

I was always polite to Edward when we talked. We even had lunch together a few times when we both volunteered for the entire day. He was very nice and a great listener. He understood my feelings and let me be when it came to my love for Jacob. When he crossed a line, I would let him know and he would back off. He kept telling me that he was patient and that he would be there, waiting for me until I was ready to move on.

He never gave up, and we ended up becoming good friends. He knew everything about me—my pain, my dreams, and my complaints. He told me about his life since high school. I was surprised to see that he hadn't settled down. Instead, he focused on his education and his career. Edward had become my best friend in just a few short weeks.

We ended up going on a couple dates. That was about as much as I could handle, so things stayed pretty much platonic between us for a couple more months. As time continued to move forward, Edward began to grow on me.

On one of our 'dates', Edward and I had a long talk about things. Edward wanted more but I still didn't know if I was ready. I had accepted Jacob's death and had no more guilt or anger about it, but I was still having problems with feeling like I was cheating on him. How could I do this to Jacob, and so soon? I should still be mourning him. I was barely able to live with the guilt I already had, I certainly wouldn't be able to deal with more guilt.

"Edward, I just don't know if now is the right time. I mean, Jacob has only been gone for a few months. I have so much guilt already. I care about you a lot, but a serious relationship? I don't know."

Edward's reply was simple.

"Bella, I am not trying to replace Jacob. I just want you to be able to find a little room in your heart for me."

He went on to say that he had a thing for me back in high school and was about to ask me out when Jacob came into the picture. He understood grief, and he would never assume that I could just forget Jacob. He just wanted a chance.

I gave him that chance that very night while we talked. I decided to consider Edward. We began spending more time together, and we got a long perfectly. It scared me how much more compatible he seemed than Jacob ever did. A couple months later, I came to a conclusion.

Looking back over the last six months, I couldn't believe I had gotten to this point. I was in love with Edward Cullen. I still loved Jacob, but I had been able to find space in my heart for Edward. My love for him filled me to the brim. We had planned on hanging out this weekend, and I decided to tell him then that I was ready to move on.

Edward was giddy with excitement when I told him how I felt. We ended up traveling up to Seattle for our weekend together. We had a wonderful time being together, and Saturday night we made love for the first time.

About a year later, Edward proposed to me. Six months later, we were married.

Twenty years ago, I thought my life was over. I had lost the only man I had ever loved and thought there was nothing left for me. I met Edward, who taught me I could love again. Jacob still had a small place in my heart, but Edward and our three children occupy the rest of that space.

Not everyone gets the 'happily ever after' that they dreamt of, but some of us get a second chance in life and I plan on making the most of it.


End file.
